Home is...

It's hard for me to tell sometimes if where I am shapes who I am. I grew up in rural Tennessee, and I can't deny that it affected who I was to some degree. Though on the other hand it wasn't uncommon to be told that I lacked a southern accent, and even as a teenager I cared for people and issues in a way that would lean me to the political left (not the common leaning of those around me). And yet as a teenager in rural TN, I wouldn't say I had too much of a political view, at least not in the way I imagine a teenager growing up in a larger city is more likely to have. So moving to New York City when I was 18, and living here for ten years has surely shaped me in some ways. But I have to wonder if it's led me to have certain opinions, or if I was that person already and just allowed to understand myself better thanks to the people and situations around me.

I do know now that I can hide parts of who I am depending on the people I'm around. I know that's not healthy, but sometimes it feels like a matter of survival. If I expect to fit in or move ahead in an environment of people that show signs of not being open to who I am, I feel I have to avoid letting on that I would fall into the category of people they have a prejudice against.

But there's also a more banal, or just realistic, reason to consider how much I am shaped by where I call home. Now that I have finished my masters, people ask me what's next. Well, I don't know. I like what I do and where I am just fine. I suppose I could consider furthering my education more, or spending more time on my artwork, but it's also natural to consider looking for different employment. Looking at new jobs can also mean looking at a new living situation. Do I bother looking at jobs in other parts of the country, or is my current home too important to consider leaving? Would I even feel comfortable in other places? I know rural, and I know urban, but all I know about suburbia is what I've learned when visiting the in-laws. Previously I've always thought, "It's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there."

Of course there are some things about suburbia that lends to "the grass is always greener" thoughts... like the fact that they have grass. But I can think of many things that make my current grass more than green... What's better? A green backyard or a technicolor dreamcoat?

I'm not going to use this as a way to write a love letter to NY, though I could probably do that. I'm just pondering if I could ever make a move outside of NYC... and if so, what kind of place could I ever feel as home in as I do in Brooklyn?

Movieness

I recently started my first job working for a movie studio. They shall remain nameless, but it's one you have heard of, which to be quite honest, is really cool. The job found it's way to me because of my job as Resident you-know-what Coach at my other nameless employ. A producer got in touch and needed some American Accent goodness for a gal who sounds decidedly not so. It's been interesting, even if only from a business perspective, talking and negotiating with the producer, dealing with the money folk, dealing with my actress. It's certainly not going to make me a millionaire but it's fun and hopefully it will lead to more. Recently, I worked out an arrangement with a pal of mine to use his studio space in the city for my clientele, it's going gangbusters. I don't have to worry if the dishes are done like at my place and I can charge more. Nice. Also, I really enjoy working one on one so hopefully this will boost that aspect of my career.

**I know this post sucked but I continue to refuse to let facebook eat my blog. Pbf, please jot something soon.

He's dangerous with a blade

This morning on the train ride I remembered how when I was in 2nd grade (7-yrs-old) my parents gave me a goal to encourage me academically. I think it was specifically for my spelling tests. A good grade earned me my first pocket knife! Something every good southern boy had, and my cousins already used theirs, making me jealous I didn't have one yet. Success! Goal achieved and knife in hand, I sat on our front porch whittling a stick when the knife slipped and cut my index finger. I remember the bleeding. I also have a nice scar to commemorate the experience with.

Luckily when I got my first gun for christmas at the age of 10, I did not have a similar experience of accidental violence.

Newbies

I have a couple new friendships on the burner. They are possibles, not for sures. I forget how developing friendships are so similar to developing boyfriend/girlfriend relationships-butterflies, flirting, maybe it's just me. And the waiting, ugh. We shall see. Thankfully, I have some really fantastic friends, so there's no pressure, I suppose one just connects with someone and hope it works out.

Blah blah blah.

I will NOT let facebook eat my blog.
I will NOT let facebook eat my blog.
I will NOT let facebook eat my blog.

Yes, this does mean my blogs are rife with mediocrity. Whatev.

In other news, I had a great 3rd meeting with my costume designer today, we chatted, looked at images, chatted some more, did measurements. It's gonna be sweet. In the meantime it's very fun to be the costumed.

Before the album drops: a list of stuff to do

some by me, some by others, all soooooon

-copyright music
-join bmi or ascap
-finish album artwork
-get website going
-get myspace going
-get costumes all set
-press cds
-get digital music online through distributor
-get publicity photos taken

There's more but these are the biggies. Help. Ok, not really but really.

Everybody prays

When we were in Romania we went to church with our host family. They went to a Baptist church, a very common denomination in the country. We were still out of sorts when we went because it was right when we arrived, we basically went straight to church. As is common in any church in Romania, the women and men sit separately, men on one side, women on the other. For some reason the wife of our host family, Florica, brought me over so we two gals sat with all the men. I've been to many a church service, spanning countless denominations and persuasions. I've seen all sorts of healings, speaking in tongues, rituals, kneeling, liturgy, song singing, incense and the like. Nothing surprises me but every so often I get to see something that really moves me in a new way. The church building wasn't huge, inside it had maybe 70 people at service that day. At the beginning all the young kids went up to the front and each child, individually in front of everyone said a prayer. It was cute, there was some chuckling doubtlessly at the simple notions held in a child's prayer. Nothing exceptional. The kids got ushered out to Sunday school or the equivalent. Then, and this is what got me, every single person in the room prayed out loud one at a time! What?!?! Speaking four Romanian words meant that I didn't understand the exact words, but it was clear that there were earnest prayers of thanks, supplication and joy. Some people cried, some were really quiet and almost unintelligible. Some were boisterous like a mountain preacher. So many different prayers.

One at a time. Out loud. Everyone.

I still think about that time. I think about every single person no matter where they were at that moment, talking to their creator in such a public way.

This is Elin, he's one of the host family's sons. This is before church. You can see his Bible, his Tony the Tiger dress shirt and his smile. He was hilarious and playful. We really enjoyed getting to spend time with him during the week.

Playing Dress Up

I had my first meeting with my costume designer today! So fun! I could to attempt to physically articulate my style on my own or I can hire someone who's an expert in such things. To me the choice is obvious. This isn't really a full post as much as a wheeeee what fun marker.

thisisntJimmy's Top 10 artists of the decade

Roger Ebert did a Top Ten films of the decade... and rounded it out with another 10 (for a total of 20)... and he approached it not as the top ten of artistically and historically important film but rather the top 10 to affect him. So I decided to do a list of important artistic things to affect me this decade. And not ALL of this was created in this decade, but was made aware to me this decade. As you may notice, I was a late bloomer to many things of this world. The things that have made me who I am in this decade:

1. Sufjan Stevens - Perhaps it’s too obvious a choice. Maybe it makes me look like I’m trying too hard, but Sufjan’s music has meant an incredible amount to me on artistic and emotional levels. His albums are stellar, but his live shows are truly amazing. I’ve been fortunate to see him live three times. During a performance at NY’s Town Hall (with the amazing My Brightest Diamond opening), there came an incredible deafening squeal of feedback during what seemed to be freeform improvised noise from all 12 instruments on stage at the end of my favorite song, The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out to Get Us. Everyone stopped playing, the feedback ended, and Sufjan was very professional and friendly in his apology. He did a quick count off and everyone jumped right back into the song/noise, proving every sound in this emotional build up of the song was intentional, written out, and well rehearsed. It just showed me that he has such a command on every aspect of his music, from the wonderful lyrics and melodies to the way the live shows (including costumes) are performed.

2. Emily Hubley - I was very familiar with her parents, Faith and John, as they were pioneers in the independent animation world, but this decade brought me Emily. Her short films take both visuals and story to a personal level that I never considered before. You can thank her for my personal narrative approach. In fact, I literally have thanked her as she was my thesis advisor in college. What I never told her was that the animations she provided for John Cameron Mitchell’s Hedwig and the Angry Inch was a connecting point for my (then future) wife and I, as it was a favorite film for both of us. (For music buffs, note her sister Georgia is the drummer/singer of Yo La Tengo.)

3. Robert Bresson - I don’t even remember now what exactly sparked my initial interest in Bresson’s films. I think the MoMA’s The Hidden God: Film and Faith series is where I first heard about him. How could I read “...a donkey is baptized...” in the description of Au hasard Balthazar and not want to see it? I drug the wife to that one... she was sweet enough to go. How many women will see B&W French films with non-professional actors just to encourage your interest? I admire much of Bresson’s process, but what intrigues me most is his focus on the spiritual and his attempt to avoid non-diegetic music in his films. His final film L’argent is by far my favorite that I have seen of his. Amazing to see a film end so violently yet carry the spiritual emotion it does.

4. Synecdoche, New York - I love all of Charlie Kaufman’s work, but this film caught me at the right time. The ‘meta’ in the film is mind-blowing, but doesn’t become too out of control. Just what is happening? I think Roger Ebert says it best when he says this isn’t a film about story but rather about identity, specifically the categories of our lives we create.

5. Roger Ebert - Ebert is a perfect example of how you can be an artist, think artistically, but not provide an artistic result in the end. NOT to say that Ebert’s writing isn’t artistic! He’s an amazing writer. I just mean to note that you’re not going to walk into a gallery or go to the cinema to aquire his work, but his thought process and critique is completely that of an artist.

6. Stan Brakhage - If you’ve seen my film Self Portrait 1981-2009, (and you’re familiar with Brakhage), then you’re saying, “Duh.” But beyond his beautiful paintings on film stock, his writing about life and film are insightful. If you want to study a new way of seeing (or chuckle at a letter to a teacher about why it’s okay that his daughter doesn’t bathe regularly), read his essays.

7. My Wife - Selfish? Biased? Mayhaps. BUT honest. Her ability to write music surprised me. She tells stories about people with such vivid details while reaching an emotional state with her music, and it never fails to move me. I don’t know what inspired her to start creating music with the ukulele the way she has, but her voice is the greatest instrument she uses. Her interesting use of the uke pairs amazingly well with her voice. I’ve been fortunate enough to see her approaching this new creative outlet from the ground up and that’s been such an inspiring thing for me to watch. When she finishes her album (March?!?!) you will see why she was an important part of this list for me.

(For those who forget or didn't know, I choose not to post her name here as we try to keep this blog anonymous so our students don't find us online!)

8. Michael Chabon - How do I write about a writer? All I can say is that all of his work that I have read pulls me in. His worlds are so well thought out and believable and his characters fit so comfortably into them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry... start with Wonder Boys or The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay.

9. Tom Colicchio - Sometimes I regret not going into the culinary arts. Watching Bravo’s Top Chef brings those pangs of regret while allowing me to live vicariously through amazing artists that show me I would not have succeeded in that world. Colicchio is clearly a driving force of inspiring these new artists and a wonderful chef himself. I’ve only had the pleasure of eating at ‘wichcraft. It’s amazing. Perhaps my unwillingness to shell out the bucks to eat at the other craft family eateries makes you think it odd that I would include him in my top 10, but it’s more than just his food that makes him important to me.

10. Alfred Hitchcock - How did I not know Hitchcock was a master of film until my mid-20’s?! His precise filmmaking process allows me to draw clear lines to Bresson’s process, but their end results could not be further from each other. Hitchcock just wanted to tell a good story, and maybe scare you (at least involve you) along the way. Every frame of his films are intentional and he’s successful because of this.

Honorable Mentions:
Jonathan Lethem
Beirut / Zack Condon
Tim Hawkinson
Brent Green
Wilco

Appalachian Christmas

The pbf and I are in the hills of eastern Tennessee for Christmas. We're visiting his side of the fam, enjoying seeing his many sisters and bro's in law, his mom and our sweet, adorable, smart, perfect niece and nephew. Today was his mamaw and papaw's 65th--please reread--65TH(!) wedding anniversary. They got married at 4pm on Christmas eve many moons ago. Since then they have done a family dinner at that same time every year. Today was no exception. It was complete with delicious southern goods including banana puddin', cornbread dressing and string beans with potatoes and of course Mountain Dew! It's always fun to come down here and see where the pbf grew up. It's so easy for me to forget that my oh so city dwelling baby grew up with a wood burning stove as the only heat option, 60 acres of land to be perused while squirrel and rabbit hunting and having one high school for the whole county. Today, his cousin told him he had a Yankee accent which I found amusing. It is true, you would never know that my husband is genetically a hillbilly (his mother suggested that I say that, so don't be offended) but when he drinks he starts to sound like the country boy he actually is. I'm always proud of my husband for deciding to go to art school in NYC when he had such rural roots, but I also really appreciate those roots and I want to honor them. For my wedding present to my pbf I got him a banjo. Sadly he has yet to pick it up--baby, it's never too late!--here's to hoping.

Thanks to my Tennessee family for a wonderful Christmas!

Death in London

The last leg of our Summer '09 Europe trip was London. Two days before we left to go home Michael Jackson died. I remember very clearly sitting on the toilet in the bathroom with no door in our tiny (and I'm a New Yorker people) hotel room. The pbf tells me, "Michael Jackson died!" The next day in Trafalgar Square there was a whole mess of memorials, flowers, impersonators and mourners. I just wanted to keep being a tourist and in all honesty I was selfishly annoyed with MJ for dying when he did and not waiting til we were stateside. Again--I acknowledge that as an unbelievably shallow and selfish thought! On that same day I bought blue Roman sandals that got a serious wearing-with many compliments-when I came home but will likely be out of style next season.

Oh Queen of England!
Oh King of Pop!

A Superficial Christmas Miracle

I've been waiting for six months for my new ukulele, the ukulele that will subsequently have a pick-up installed so I can plug into sound systems and move around rock 'n roll style. Ok, patiently is maybe not the right word. I have called every week since I ordered to check on the status. Each Monday afternoon a new detail would unfold, the delay, the new headstock logo, different design, when it was shipped from Indonesia, when it was stuck in customs, when it arrived in Indiana, when it shipped from Indiana and when they gave it to me FOR FREE for waiting so long. It's a beautiful instrument, I may post a picture. I changed the strings, added the humidifier and have been playing it like crazy to break it in so it will be ready to share with the world! I take such tremendous joy in playing and singing that's it's difficult to describe. During the work day I think to myself-if only I was playing my ukulele right now. When I travel, it travels. I took it on our three week Europe trip over the summer. I took it on a two days work trip later in the summer. If I leave the city, it has to come with me because if I can't pkay and sing then I feel like I can't express myself. I say, "it" but I actually have multiple ukes, the one that currently travels with me is a soprano meaning it's about 20 inches long and weighs less than three pounds. This has been a full two years leading up to doing the album and doing the music thing. I feel so grateful to have music back in my life and find amusement in the ukulele being the catalyst for this. Ok and Jimmy. Also God. Three different sized catalysts.

Again I acknowledge this is a crappy, generic blog post but I refuse to let facebook eat my blogging so crappy generic it will be until inspiration bubbles.

Time after time after time after time

The semester is almost finished! In two weeks I will have a month long break that will be productive and relaxing (hopefully). The album is coming along, it's probably about 75% done so that's good. It has been a really interesting process, parts of it exactly how I would imagine other aspects very different. My producer has really challenged me and I know this album would not have happened if not for him, so I'm feeling blessed by his presence in my life. Hopefully the album's gonna have 13 songs, one hymn and the rest original. The pbf is doing the cover art, he has a really awesome concept that I shan't speak of here-but it's really great. We moved upstairs into our dream apartment, well ok, that's a bit much but it feels as close to a dream as we can get in our price range-two bedrooms, washer & dryer, dishwasher!! For those of you from out of NYC these last two are luxuries that seldom folks get so we are thrilled. Also the renovation on the apartment is newer and feels more homey. Our Christmas tree is up and we are basically settled. We need to get new blinds but that's going to take time because they are pricey little mofos. We've got skylights which are a nice treat to be able to look up and see the clouds moving is a taste of heaven for me. My Mom, in an unbelievably generous early Christmas gift got us a new TV! We are total movie geeks and it has really made watching movies even more fun. The TV came with a Blu-Ray player and we got a few--whoa, it's so clear! Having the TV in HD has made for some interesting moments of holy crap that person looks terrrrrible! I see Ann Curry in a new and more blotchy light! Poor woman. In other news we are thinking about taking our summer trip to Iceland. We were both just thinking it could be a neat place to go. We'll see if it ends up happening, I hope so.

I know that this was an unbelievably generic post but I am bound and determined to not let my facebook completely stop my blogging so this was an attempt.

Facebook ate my blog

...at least my ability to blog. It used to be that if there was a spark of suggestion I would blog about it, now I just make it my status update without elaborating. Here are my last 10 status updates:

-just scratched the floor with the Antietam bullet I dropped! I can't begin to imagine getting shot by one of those bad boys!
-how did my plate get so full? Sheesh.
-so proud of my baby who has illustrations in the new DK book 109 Forgotten American Heroes!
-apple picking today!
-chords.
-is movin' on up(stairs).
-can anybody recommend an audiologist in the city/bklyn?
-otalgia.
-"It's the day of the show, y'all!"
-The Importance of Being Earnest-ing!

I do want to get back to blogging because I think it could be fun to look back on when I'm older. That seems like a strange reason to do something. My pbf kept a xanga years ago and it's a nice trip down Old Memory Lane to read about when we met. We are moving upstairs soon. it will be great but as I started packing yesterday I got a bit teary eyed. I'm working on my album, I think it will be good. Shall I say, I feel confident you won't hate it. I shall. You mightn't love it but that's another story. I'm re-rewatching the X-Files. I don't know what it is, it's just part of my life cycle I suppose. So is blogging dead? Hmm...

Big Ship

I saw a Titanic artifact exhibit today. It was really great. I have always been into the Titanic. When I was little there was a series of beginner reading books on all sorts of subjects including King Tut's Tomb and the Titanic that I read and re-read. To this day my interest in said subjects remain. My favorite part of the exhibit was a huge block of ice that was the same temperature as the water the Titanic sunk in. Actually it was a few degrees warmer because salt water freezes at a lower temp than fresh water and for whatever reason this exhibit used fresh water. I pressed my palm to the ice and truly could stand only 5 seconds of palmery until my hand was in pain. This portion of the exhibit pointed out how the majority of the victims died not from drowning but from hypothermia. The exhibit was really moving and I'm really glad I went. In the gift shop portion, which the exhibit naturally funnels into, there were the standard souvenirs-shirts, postcards, books even coal from the actual ship! I resisted that purchase. One souvenir in particular struck me as unbelievably tacky and not in the spirit of the exhibit. "Gin and Titonic: Sink One in your Drink" ice trays. Am I crazy or did you finish with a wall of names of the victims Mr. Titanic exhibit? I bought a coloring book.

how do fish swim

how do fish swim, standing still in water from thisisntjimmy on Vimeo.

The Trip

I've been avoiding posting anything to the blog... I started to post about the trip a few weeks ago and then the computer ate it. So I've not taken the time to come back and start over. I can't go into the massive awesome details here, so we should really talk in person if you're interested, but I can point out some highlights.

Our time in Romania started out at Caminul Felix... an orphanage for lack of a better term... but it's really set up like two communities of foster homes... 2 parents and 12 to 20 kids per house. They were beautiful happy children that warm up to guests quickly. We made fast friends with some of them, and we got to do a few art workshops with lots of them. They had a wonderful time drawing and coloring and just being all-in-all creative. We met some Americans that were there too and that was super helpful for us because two of them work there months at a time so they were able to show us around the town of Oradea and tell us more about the work that they do and the needs that the people have.

One great conversation we got to have with two of the house parents was telling them about being in NYC during the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11th and having them tell us about living in Romania during the rule of communism and watching it fall. I think it's always tough for us to talk to people about Sept. 11th, but it was easier to open up to them as they were opening up to us.

Beyond drawing and playing with the kids, we also painted some doors and attempted to help level the volley ball court with sand, but this group of little boys came to "help" with that and so it really just turned into them playing in dirt and us getting nothing done. Also, we went to a cookout one night and I had Romanian sausage called Meech... I was sick for 2.5 days and am eternally grateful to Nancy for sending antibiotics with us!

So after the week with them we went to Cluj-Napoca to spend a couple of days with Heifer International. If you don't know about Heifer Int., look them up! They do wonderful things and this trip confirmed to us that it's an organization that we want to continuing supporting. This was definitely our favorite time in Romania. On the first day we went to a Roma village that had a goat farm... beautiful people and beautiful goats. They made us lunch right next to their barn... frying up some meat they'd slaughtered and some potatoes they'd grown over fires, and serving goat cheese they'd made. I was sure to drink the cherry liqueur they served so I didn't get sick again! It was a wonderful time. And the next day was just as wonderful when we were taken to another village that has heifers! Heifer heifers! As part of the rules of receiving gifts from Heifer, they gift their first born heifers to another family, but they also gift part of their milk to a children's hospital. We had a really wonderful time meeting these people and seeing Heifer's work up close.

Then it was on to our "vacation" portion of the trip! Rome, Paris and London.
Highlights include:
-Sweating at the Colosseum in Rome and having to tear myself away from the Sistine Chapel.
-Our little hotel with the shared shower in Paris overbooked and they had to move us to a beautiful studio apt. one block away from Notre Dame. We could hear it's bells while we relaxed on our bed. Paris was my favorite city we went to... Notre Dame and Musée d'Orsay would compete for my favorite parts about it.
-Seeing the chopping block and crown jewels at the London Tower... Big Ben is really cool... "London swings like a pendulum do..." As You Like It at the Globe... Tate, Tate Mondern, British National Museum...
-Getting bumped up to first class in on Virgin-Atlantic on our flight home. We had our own pods with seats and footstools that turned into beds...

I've not put pictures up in a public place online yet... if you want, you can friend me on facebook and see pictures there... or just wait til I get around to posting them on flickr or something.

Here come we...

Tomorrow we leave for our trip. We fly to Zurich and then catch a flight to Budapest. We get picked up in Budapest and drive 4 hours into the western Romanian town of Oradea, just inside the Romanian border. We will be at Caminul Felix for a week then we move further east into Romania to Cluj in Transylvania for two days with the Heifer Romania folk to visit a more rural Romania and see some Heifer projects at work. 10 days in Romania. Cluj to Budapest to Rome. A few days in Roma and the seeing of sights. Plane up to Paris, a few more days for the seeing of sights and working on our French accents. Chunnel to London, more sightage then fly home. There are a million last minute things that we are doing but I feel confident it will all work out. We will basically be out of touch until we get back, we decided not to bring the laptop after all and we won't be using our phones. Thus, see you in a few weeks!!!

Tripsy

We have 9 days until we leave! Obviously we are both incredibly excited. Since the first 10 days of our trip will be sort us just going along for the ride, my mind doesn't quite comprehend that portion of the trip yet. If you have any must see or must do's in Rome, Paris or London, let us know in the comments!

lost in the facebook

Because Facebook seems to be the metablog, who needs to do long blog posts about everyday life? Well, our blog has missed us. Probably to the point that no one is really reading it anymore.

3 more Monday classes for me (counting today) and 2 more Thursday classes. Working on finals and what not. Then I'll only have one class left which I'll take in the fall!

We're still excited about Europe in June. Anybody want to help us buy art supplies for Romanian Orphans? Let me know if you're interested and I'll send you more info!

bird/angel

Artist statements are whack, but check this out:


Bird in my house, Angel in my heart from thisisntjimmy on Vimeo.